He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
