Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
