I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I currently don't understand fingers.
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