i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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