Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
