It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
