He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
