after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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