At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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