I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
God, I missed his penis.
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