im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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