You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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