the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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