Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
