Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
