Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
love makes seman taste better
She's like a pop up book from hell.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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