my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
