I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
