The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize