I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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