Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
