Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
