Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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