Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
