Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
