How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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