This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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