I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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