I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
