I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
