I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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