she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I need to calm my uterus...
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