You work out of a Hotel?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
