my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
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