I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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