So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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