brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
