Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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