He passed out mid-signature
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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