I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's blow job season.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
