Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
