i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize