Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
