i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We need to rekindle our bromance
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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