oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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