I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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