In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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