her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
