So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
