Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
