Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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