I feel great
I just peed on a car
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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