I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
