Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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