This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
