there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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