a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
