I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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