Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
