I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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