Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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