She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
